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Product Review: How to Win Friends & Influence People

no@spam.com (MindPerk Staff) — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 00:00:00 MST

Have you ever wondered why you are drawn to certain people and love to be around them, or why some people seem to attract confidence, success, and friendships with a variety of people? If you don’t feel like your people skills are to the level you would like, (don’t worry, theses skills can be learned) you should read Dale Carnegie's classic How to Win Friends and Influence People.

When I was in my early 20’s, I was looking for a good book to read one day and stumbled across my husband’s copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People. I was drawn to Dale Carnegie's direct personal approach and practical advice. It quickly became one of my favorite books of all time. Carnegie gives you straight forward techniques for relating to all types of people, ways to make people like you, concrete ideas to win people to your way of thinking, and tips on being an effective leader. The book is entertaining, insightful and the ideas are as applicable today as they were when Dale Carnegie first wrote the book over 70 years ago. This book should be mandatory reading for anyone dealing with the public from politicians to students, plumbers to retail clerks.

How to Win Friends and Influence People revealed many simple things that I could do to improve my interpersonal skills. I've often wished I had known about this book when I was in High School, it would have helped get through those insecure years with more flair and friendships. If you have never read How to Win Friends and Influence People. I highly recommend you get a copy. If you read it years ago but haven’t reviewed it for a while, dust of your copy and read it again. It's also available in an audio version (CD or instant download) so that you can listen to it while driving, exercising, or on the go.

The Power of Concentration

no@spam.com (Richard Mansell) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 00:00:00 MST

One of the great skills of successful people is their ability to concentrate. Jesus said, "No man can serve two masters." He was right. To be a great achiever in any endeavor, one must be absorbed by it, and devoted to it. He does best who eats, drinks, sleeps and lives his goal until it gets into his mind, heart and blood stream. Then it will overflow into his eyes, face, handshake, actions -- and wallet.

Rays of sunshine gently warm the earth. But concentrated through a magnifying glass, they can start a forest fire. Rain, spread over an entire city has little effect, but concentrate the rain in one place, and you have a powerful torrent, able to move anything in its path. Likewise, a person who becomes distracted by sidelines, errands, and trivial pursuits is of little effect compared to the one who learns to focus his efforts and actions.

"A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways," wrote the poet. When a person "sees double," he gets into trouble, like the prize fighter who, after a bad licking, said, "Where I made my mistake was that I didn't knock him out in the first round when he was alone."

Success Tip: Supercharge your success with the power of a single purpose. Don't let distractions rob you of your concentration.

The Freedom to Succeed

no@spam.com (Richard Mansell) — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 00:00:00 MST

As we celebrate American independence and rejoice in the freedoms that we enjoy in many countries, we are reminded again that each of us as individuals is free to select our path, choose our own attitude, and to work until we succeed. I am reminded of the story about the Oyster and the Eagle.

When God made the oyster, He guaranteed him absolute economic and social security. He built the oyster a house, a shell to protect him from his enemies. When hungry, the oyster simply opens up his shell, and food rushes in.

But, when God made the eagle, He said, "The blue sky is the limit. Go build your own house." And the eagle went out and built his house on the highest mountain crag, where storms threaten him every day. For food, he flies through miles of rain and snow and wind. This majestic bird symbolizes those individuals who are willing to stand out, to risk, to achieve, who crave the freedom to stand or fall on their own accomplishments.

The Eagle, not the Oyster, is the emblem of America and the symbol of freedom the world over.

Each of us has the freedom to grab hold of opportunities and make a unique masterpiece of our lives. Like the Eagle, we are not content to live lives of mediocrity, we prefer to spend our existence striving for excellence and achieving our dreams.

Take Action to Overcome Fear

no@spam.com (Richard Mansell) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:00:00 MST

Fear is the greatest enemy of any professional. Fear of looking silly prevents many from giving enthusiastic effort. Fear of rejection causes an otherwise excellent sales person to dread cold calling. In fact, statistics show that over half of the sales presentations in America end with no attempt to close whatsoever. Why? Fear of failure. Fear, fear, fear. It can leave us paralyzed and ineffective.

What is the cure for fear? ACTION! If you are afraid of rejection, make more cold calls. If you fear ridicule, make your actions audacious and dynamic. If you worry about failure, sharpen your skills and then use them.

Theodore Roosevelt put it this way:

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered with failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."

The truth is, most of the things we worry about never come to pass. The word FEAR could accurately be made into an acronym which stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. So why worry? Take decisive action to cure worry and overcome fear.

Be a Team Player

no@spam.com (Richard Mansell) — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 00:00:00 MST

If you work in a group of two or more people, chances are you are considered by the management as a "team." The question is: do you consider yourself a team member? Are you really acting as a team? Or, do you, at times, think of the other people in your company as competition? After all, if one of them gets the contract, you might not. It's easy to see how some people adopt a defeating attitude and begin to sabotage their teammate's work, and, as a result, sabotage their own success as well.

Remember the oft-told example of two horses pulling a load. Two horses, pulling in unison, can pull more than three times the amount that each horse can pull separately. It's called the synergistic effect, and you can make it work for you and your company.

Vince Lobardi once said, "Individual commitment to a group effort -- that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work." Look for ways that you can contribute to the group efforts of your entire staff. Look for way that you can work together. Look for ways to help others in your company--above and beyond what you are expected to do. Don't be afraid to share ideas and techniques that work. Pretty soon, the effectiveness of the entire group will grow, boosting your personal success and profits along with those of your team and your company.

Be a team player! If you want to improve your own chances for success, look for ways to help fellow workers and bolster your entire team.

Remembering Your Successes Can Boost Self-Confidence

no@spam.com (Richard Mansell) — Wed, 14 May 2008 00:00:00 MST

Think of something amazing that you have done. Perhaps you built a successful business or created a work of art. Maybe you have made a difference in the life of a child or helped to save a struggling marriage, or written a book, or fought for a cause you believe in or remodeled a house or any of ten thousand other things that you may have done. Pick one thing that you are especially proud of.

Hold that thought in your mind and enjoy the feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment that come to your heart. Now, think of a word that brings this accomplishment back to your thoughts -- one word that can help you immediately revive these positive emotions.

What would happen if next time you feel worthless or depressed or inadequate, you were to say this word to yourself and re-live these upbeat feelings? Wouldn't it boost your confidence that you can accomplish great things in the future?

The story is told of James Whistler, the famous American artist, who painted a tiny picture of a spray of roses. The artistry involved was magnificent. Never before it seemed had the art of man been able to execute quite so definitely a reproduction of the act of nature.

The picture was the envy of the artists who saw it and the despair of the collectors who yearned to buy it for their collections, but whistler refused steadfastly to sell it. "For," he said, "whenever I feel that my hand has lost it's cunning, whenever I doubt my ability, I look at the little picture of the spray of roses and say to myself, 'Whistler, you painted that. Your hand drew it, your imagination conceived the colors, your skill put the roses on the canvas.' Then," he said, "I know that what I have done, I can do again."

About this story Sterling W. Sill said: "hang on the walls of your mind the memory of your successes. Take counsel of your strength, not your weakness. Think of the good jobs you have done. Think of the times when you rose above your average level of performance and carried out an idea or a dream or a desire for which you had deeply longed. Hang these pictures on the walls of your mind and look at them as you travel the roadway of life."

I challenge you to do just that. Remember your successes to overcome discouragement today and to boost your confidence in the future.

One Habit That Can Double Your Effectiveness

no@spam.com (Richard Mansell) — Wed, 07 May 2008 00:00:00 MST

What would you need in order to double your effectiveness? More time? More education? Better planning of your day? Some quiet time to meditate or pray? Business skills training? You can have all of that, and more by adding one simple habit to your day. Here it is: turn off the car radio. That's it, simple.

Statistics show that the average American spends 500 to 1000 hours per year in the car traveling from place to place. A full-time college student spends less time in the classroom in a year! Just think what you could learn if you put that time to more effective use. Your car can become a phenomenal school, a business seminar, a meditation room, a personal planning sanctuary, and a most efficient class room.

What if you selected some self-improvement or business training CDs to listen to in your car? You could improve your management skills, build a better vocabulary, learn ways to improve your relationships, think more positively, invest money, start a new business, learn a foreign language -- all this without adding any time to your already busy schedule. There are so many positive, educational, and entertaining things to listen to that we believe you should never get in your car, go for a walk, exercise, or even sit down to the computer, without having access to quality audio learning programs.

Turn off the car radio. It could just change your life.

It's Never Too Late to Harness the Power of Self-Improvement

no@spam.com (Richard Mansell) — Thu, 01 May 2008 00:00:00 MST

Self-improvement is any activity that stretches and engages your mind, improves your attitude, enhances your skills, or motivates you to action. Unchecked and undisciplined, the human mind tends to gravitate to fixed patterns of thought and activity. You might call it "being in your comfort zone" or, more bluntly put, "stuck in a rut."

The exciting news is that a conscious effort to expand and activate your mind through continuous self-improvement helps you engage in so many ways. For example, expanding your memory will help you with reading speed and comprehension. Studying mathematical concepts often stimulates creative thinking. Improving interpersonal communication skills boosts your self confidence. In addition, each of these activities, stimulates your mind to greater activity.

Self improvement must be continuous and consistent. One of my favorite stories is told by Zig Ziglar who, when about to give a motivational seminar, was asked by a reporter. "You may pump up these people today, but where will they be in 3 weeks? In short, is motivation permanent?" His answer, of course, was, "no, motivation is not permanent, but then neither is bathing--and I highly recommend it." The message is clear: a daily dose of positive, upbeat self-improvement is essential.

I know a man who decided at 37 to go back to college and finish his degree majoring in English Literature. He found that the college experience stimulated his thinking about other areas of his life. Before he graduated, he had developed a business idea and started what has become a very successful retail business. What does English literature have to do with retail business, you ask? Nothing. But, the schooling was a catalyst that got his mind active again. You can learn to engage your mind in the same way.

It doesn't matter whether you choose to learn to speed read, work on your attitude, speak a new language, practice public speaking, or expand your vocabulary. The main thing is that you engage your mind and then take action. Pick something that interests you and then go after it with all of the mental power you have. As you expand and stretch your mind, you will be amazed at the increased capacity you will have to think and reason through problems, motivate yourself, create new ideas, and discover innovative solutions.