Love is a Decision, Not a Feeling

by Grant Cardone on February 14, 2009 | Articles

Love is not a feeling, love is a decision you make and continue to make in order to create an experience that is described as love. Love is an action that if you don’t use it you lose it. Love is like any communication, if you never send it out, you won’t get a return. Love is something you give to others not something you feel because something happens to you.

Most of my life I was under the delusion that love was a feeling, something that was going to happen to me. Love is not something that happens to you but something that you make happen to you and happen to others. Love is something that grows from your actions and decisions and if you don’t have it and or not experiencing it then there is something you don’t know about love! I spent most of my adult life waiting for love to happen to me and after one failed marriage and endless searching for “the right person” I finally realized the truth about love, how to have it, how to create it and how to sustain it.

Wikipedia also states love as an experience related to a strong sense of affection. Affection is a “disposition or state of mind or body”[1] that is often associated with a feeling or type of love. This definition suggests that you do something rather than have something done to you. How do you feel affection for anything? You would actually decide to show it love, admire it, pay attention to it, treat it right, honor it, praise it, and find the good in it. At which point you will then have affection for it. Mistreat it, lie to it, and ignore it and I assure you that you will not feel affection for it nor will you ever say you love it.

Love is probably the single most universally desired human quality that exist on this planet. Love is not something you can buy or barter, it is not taught at school, it doesn’t matter how rich you are, your IQ, race, creed, religion, social economic status or who you know. So on this Valentine’s Day practice making a decision to love and then following that decision up with actions that communicate love. Remember love is not a feeling; love is a decision!

Happy Valentines Day

Improve Your Relationship

Grant is an international sales expert, sales trainer, motivational speaker and best selling author whose programs have positively affected thousands of people and organizations worldwide. His unique, commen-sense approach is practical and solution oriented. His humor, wit and infectious energy allow him to connect with any audience. Click here to browse books, and audio training programs by Grant Cardone.

has 41 articles on MindPerk.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Gabby January 8, 2014

Someone please make an article on how to receive love. Like someone says I love you and you do too but how to you feel what they said????


George Grant September 30, 2012

feelings come and go, and so do mine, the new commandment is “to love oneanother”, and that remains even if I don’t feel like it. God’s love is everlasting. Human love is a gift.


Diego Mendez September 4, 2012

Love is a feeling. Its just like any other feeling we get. For example you said you went out in search fOr love cause you couldn’t find it. That’s basically the same thing you have to do for any other feeling. Example, when you feel tired you don’t automatically decide to feel tired you obviously went out and did some excercise. In fact the heart is a muscle and you have to excercise it with love. Going out and doing the thing you love not the things you think will make a relationship better;)


mike August 10, 2012

According to 1 Corinthians 13:3, love is not merely an act of the will or a decision. It is the motive behind a decision. So in this verse, you could lay down your life for someone else, and still not have love for them. Love comes in the correct motive for laying down your life, or doing anything else for that matter.

1 Corinthians 13:3
If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.


Mike February 3, 2012

Love is an act of the will. Acts of the will regarding loving another is especially foreign to a culture that has seemed to glorify a kind of perpetual adolescence totally guided by feelings. Marriage vows, at least the traditional ones, use such phrases as for better for worse, in sickness and in health for richer and poorer, etc. The subtext for all of these marriage vows within a no fault divorce environment and teenage emotional retardation is “until it doesn’t feel good or right or meet my career goals” and of course the children are pretty much warehoused into the state provided care with a key for where mom or dad lives. And we wonder why we can’t resolve entitlement programs bankruptcy, adult behavior in governance, etc. ?!


Tomislav November 19, 2011

Is true love a gift from God? Can true love just fade? I do not think so. True love is the greatest gift that God give us and it is everlasting because it is from God and it can NOT fade away!!!


Willow October 25, 2011

Love…..a peanut butter banana sandwich comes very close !


Victor Immanuel October 13, 2011

Very nice…..


Somon June 2, 2011

Ja, sennilega svo pad er


eduardo flores March 2, 2010



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